Faith, Hope and Love….

Ok I know almost everyone reading this is part of the adoption world - and if you are reading and are not then you know me (or Aaron) pretty well. Do you ever have days that you get so frustrated with the process, the cost, or any part of the adoption that you are not fun to be around? That was me today - I was frustrated with everything (and by everything I mean work, Aaron, the adoption - anything - sorry Jessica) and all I could think is why does this have to take so long and be so difficult and cost so much (which I should note Korea is cheaper than Vietnam). Really I am ok I am just to the point I need a girls weekend - problem, there are no girls to have a girls weekend with not to mention everyone I know is on a budget including myself - so it would have to be homemade pizza and a rented movie.

All Aaron is doing right now is studying for his (hopefully) last actuarial exam - which is good IF he will walk into the exam believing that he will pass. I am not sure he is conscience that he does it but he always tells me he will never pass and he doesn’t want to study anymore (I don’t blame him - I can actually sympathize as I spent two full years studying for the bar - long story that I will tell another time or in e-mail if you really want to hear it) but I get very frustrated with him when he has those days and then I have bad days too. I am just not sure what I will do when I have a child home - how will I make it all work? For those who work, how do you do it and keep up with everything? If we want more than one child I am going to have to work in some capacity (or win the lottery) - even if it is at home document review. I am stressed out about money, and work (things are kinda slow at work lately and I am convinced every time a partner walks into my office it is to tell me they do not have enough work for me and will have to let me go to keep the firm open - though no one has even said that is an option) and if that happens what will I do - it took YEARS to find this job in our community as it is a weird legal community. Aaron (and I) would LOVE to move to the country or better yet to somewhere where it never snows BUT I think I would have to take another bar (an option that I don’t even want to consider right now) and I don’t know if there are actuary jobs in warm climates - heck I am not sure where they are besides here. Ok I really am ok and I can do this but I needed to vent and get it out! On to positive things tomorrow…I promise! (Because Aaron  and I will be getting fingerprinted again soon for the foster to adopt application….this is crazy)