So, lately I have been a little stressed about some things that I do not plan to discuss on here but my biggest stress is my children and those wonderful (insert sarcasm) terrible twos. I am so not sure what happened to my beautiful amazing babies but some demon has inhabited them and refuses to let them go (I am kidding, kind of).
Since they have so few words and the ones they do have are rarely used correctly, their primary method of communication is to scream until they get what they want. I really should not be using they as if it happens with both of them, because Little Princess does try to get her point across with the few words she knows, sign language and gestures BEFORE she just plain throws a fit (unless she is tired and then she just throws a fit). Little Man throws terrible fits – horrible ones that can last as long as 30 minutes and by the time he is done no one can remember why it started. Before you think – oh this is attachment related I should tell you a bit about these fits….(1) he will clean and area on the floor and lay himself down gently on our hardwood floors BEFORE the fit starts (2) I can pick him up and hold him at ANY point in the fit and it does ZERO good – the only thing that will end the fit is him receiving EXACTLY what he wants which usually is not possible or safe or just not necessary (3) he is SOOOOO angry that he beats me up if I do pick him up (unlike his sister who if she wants my attention will tear my glasses off my face) and (4) many people have seen these fits and all say oh that is just a two year old fit (and yes some have adopted). The whining and fits can drive me CRAZY and make it so that all I want to do is pull my hair out.
Then we have the antics — Little Man LOVES to see how things work and well the other day during what was supposed to be nap time he taught he and his sister how to remove a diaper. I came up after nap time and found two totally naked babies — realizing that they had been like this their WHOLE nap and Little Princesses bed was soaking wet, I was furious. I yelled. (I shouldn’t have but I did – not my best mommy moment.) As soon as I opened my mouth to yell at them (they were still in their cribs), Little Man started screaming and whining. I put the diapers back on and left them in their cribs and left the room….I needed a mommy time out (as I had not behaved well either)…I let them scream and I left.
How can my amazing wonderful kids go from sweet wonderful amazing one minute to little monsters the next and the very next minute back to sweet and amazing? Aaron swears they are trying to kill us as it is not unusual for one or both to wake up in the middle of the night and end up in our bed after being wide awake for an hour or two (one night 3+). Seriously I need some terrible two survival tips…or I may not have any hair next time you see me! (And please someone tell me that three is bad but a different kind of bad…because TWO years where it gets progressively worse is really going to kill me….)
Filed under: Little Man, Little Princess, Parenting journey | Tagged: double trouble, Little Man, Little Princess, Parenting journey
Three is very different than 2. It’s much better! And 4 is even better than 3!
Once they learn how to communicate with words, I would imagine a lot of this will end. All I can say is really try to push the words they know on them.
IE: If they can say the word milk, and they want a drink of milk, don’t give it to them when they point or whine, make them say the word, or they don’t get it.
This may cause some tantrums in the beginning, but once they learn your not going to let up, they’ll just say milk when they want milk.
Use the words they do know to help their vocabulary grow too! Like once they get the word milk down when they want a drink of milk, start going for “milk, please” It sounds like a lot of this may just be communication barriers (blended nicely with the terrible twos).
Other than that, all I can do is say the two’s are hard, I cleaned poop of the walls more than once with my guy. The threes are hard to, but a different kind of hard, my guy could speak full sentences by they time he was 2.5 so communication was no longer an issue, but the “I Wants” was! ( I don’t think that one ever goes away)
OH! and take your time outs as needed…there is no reason why you shouldn’t take a breather if needed.
{{{HUGS}}} It will get better.
Hi, You definitely need some me time! Dairy Queen always works for me. About Little Mans temper tantrums: Do you have a playpen? I would recommend putting him in one when he is having a fit? Then just walk away leaving him without an audience. He will be safe in the playpen and you can take yourself to another part of the house where you can just barely hear his screams. Once he is calm then go pick him up and talk to him about what you think he was frustrated by. Your best guess is as good as any since he has so few words to express himself.
As for the stripping naked during naps. My granddaughter did this. I foiled her by having her sleep in a onesie over her diaper. She could not undo the snaps and the diapers didn’t come off. I just called them her napping clothes.
Are you working on sign language with the kiddos? Are they receiving language therapy? The granddaughter is. She has a few more words now and a few more signs. She turned two in June and is very delayed with her speech.
Hugs and Kisses
I don’t mean to be a Debby Downer every time I comment… really I don’t… but I always feel compelled to respond when I read of your troubles.
Why? Because I’ve BTDT… ALSO with twins, ALSO with adoption, ALSO with the “terrible twos.”
Well meaning people (adoptive parents and otherwise) told me ALL SORTS of things to make me feel better about how the kids reacted to things, responded to me, etc, yet I *knew* in my heart it wasn’t right…. it wasn’t “normal.”
Yes there are tantrums at 2… but the FREQUENCY, DURATION, and INTENSITY, coupled with the aggression TOWARD YOU is NOT normal.
Attachment isn’t a measure of YOUR parenting skills. Attachment isn’t a dirty word, either, I promise!
The 2’s should NOT be so bad that you feel like all you deal with are whiny tantruming children.
Our twins came home younger, therefore we dealt with their strain and difficulty at a slightly younger age. I think I’ve told you before that the toughest age for us was about 15 months-22 months give or take a month.
After that, it’s honestly been a completely enjoyable experience to parent through the 2’s, the 3’s, and now the 4’s.
Find someone that specializes in attachment and have an eval. If he/she says you’re a-ok, then great! If there are things to work on, then so be it… better to deal with it now rather than later… because it won’t just magically disappear on its own…
Feel free to delete this comment if you so choose… I will absolutely NOT be offended in any way. Again, I’m not trying to be a downer… just trying to pass on the advice that I so needed when I was in your shoes.
It was as if a switch was flipped and the boys entered the terrible two phase. It all started at Costco, at 22 months, last week! The cart was not able to contain the boys, one flipped from the seat to the back of the cart and the other boys shimmied out of the seat to freedom. I honestly do not know how this all happened as I was pushing the cart. Most people know where they were for major news events, but I know exactly where the terrible twos with the twins started. I’m sure that some of the other customers at Costco will also remember where they were for my life changing event!
Take care and know that we made it through the IA process and that there must be light at the end of the terrible twos!